The Turning Point–How Do You Decide it is Time for a Nursing Home?

August 30, 2010 at 11:02 am | Posted in Pat Linard, PR | Leave a Comment
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On Tuesday, August 31, 2010, Distinctive Care Geriatric Care Management of Ridgewood, NJ will present a two credit hour continuing education course for nurses, both LPNs and RN’s, social workers, Certified Assisted Living Administrators, and Licensed Nursing Home Administrators entitled The Turning Point. This CEU course covers the key reasons why the elderly enter nursing facilities and societal trends impacting their decision. Cultural attitudes towards nursing facilities are covered along with the psychological impact of caregiver stress and other quality of life issues. It also reviews the role of a geriatric care manager. This presentation will be presented at the Nursing and Rehabilitation Center of CareOne at Valley, 300 Old Hook Road in Westwood, NJ in Bergen County. There will be a light dinner and networking at 5pm followed by the presentation at 5:30pm. To RSVP, call 201-664-8888.

Pet Therapy

July 28, 2010 at 4:12 pm | Posted in Pat Linard, PR | Leave a Comment
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It is easy to see how important a pet is in the life of a family. What is not as easy to see is how important a role a pet can play in the life of an elderly or ill person. Healing with Love through Pet Therapy will be presented by Sophia Heftler, RN, CMC, CALA of Distinctive Care Geriatric Care Management in Ridgewood, NJ on Wednesday, August 4 from 5:30-7:00 PM at Sunrise Senior Living of Wayne in Wayne, NJ. A special guest appearance will be made by our own pet therapy dog, Romeo, a lovable, lap size 5 year old Pomeranian.

Studies have shown that the emotional bond between man and animals is indeed healing. This talk will tell you how the presence of a pet in a loved one’s life can not only offer comfort and dispel loneliness, but can also lower blood pressure, lower heart rate and calm anxiety. Whether it be in the home or in an assisted living facility or a rehabilitation and nursing home, a pet can make the difference, whether it be for one hour or 24 hours. Come learn the special training that is required of therapeutic pets before they earn that special distinction between pets. To join us, call (973) 628-4900. Wine and cheese…coffee and dessert will also be served.

Caregiver Stress and the Holidays

December 14, 2009 at 10:00 am | Posted in Sophia Heftler, GCM | Leave a Comment
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As we all know as joyous as the holiday season is it’s also stressful under the best of circumstances.  It can be even more stressful for those of us who are caregivers as well.  As a caregiver myself I have become acutely aware of how the change in routine can effect our loved ones and how our unrealistic expectations of what it takes to make our holidays “perfect” can stress us out.

I wanted to share with you some of the plans I have implemented this year to make my holiday more joyful and less stressful.  Hopefully some of these tips will help you as well, even if you are not a caregiver!

As many of you know, I lost my mother this year, almost 9 months ago.  One of the things that I’ve done since before Thanksgiving is to acknowledge my feelings.  I have given myself permission to feel sadness and grief and not forcing myself to be happy just because it’s the holidays.  In allowing myself to acknowledge these feelings I have found that I’ve been able to find the real meaning of the holidays and spending time with my family; especially my father, who I am the primary caregiver for.

I am trying to be more realistic about the fact that the holidays do not have to be perfect and that they clearly will not be how they were last year.  I have decided that it’s okay that things change and that this year we will be making some new traditions while cherishing my memories of the traditions my mother created.  There is no such thing as “perfect” and I can’t expect the holidays to be like they are in the movies – I don’t have a production crew assisting me!

I know that when I get stressed out I invariably get depressed so I am going to be kind to myself this year.  If things feel overwhelming with my father, I will ask my brother for help.  If I need to take a nap after work, I will do so without guilt.  I will also say “no” to the things I cannot do or choose not to do.  I will not overbook myself because if I do I will not have time or energy to enjoy the joys this season presents us with.

As far as the overbooking goes, this year I am planning ahead.  I have set aside specific days for holiday shopping, visiting with friends and planning my Christmas Eve menu and shopping list so that I am not scrambling at the last minute.  I am going to have help on Christmas Eve so that all the work is not up to me.

I have made a committment to myself to accept my family members for who they are despite the fact that more times than most they do not live up to all my expectations.  I will remind myself that others may be experiencing holiday stress and feeling depressed.

I am currently on a weight-loss program and I am not going to let the holidays become a “free-for-all” because I know that this will only lead to stress, guilt and frustration.  I will stick to the healthy habits I have been developing and have booked time for myself to get physical activity and also will try to stick to my usual bedtime because if I don’t get enough sleep I begin to get depressed.  I will also be sure to remember to do my light therapy to counteract the effects of our shorter, less sunny winter days.

My fifteen minutes…this is going to be an important part of my Christmas Eve.  Since I will be hosting Christmas Eve this year I am going to take 15 minutes before my guests are expected to arrive to take a breather…to spend 15 minutes alone and without distraction in my bedroom listening to soothing music, clearing my mind and focusing on my breathing to help me restore my inner calm.  I have also scheduled a 15 minute break to do the same thing after dinner while my enlisted help is cleaning up.

Professional help is something I am lucky enough to already have in place, but for those of you who do not, if you find yourself feeling persistently sad, anxious, unable to sleep, irritable or hopeless and palgued by physical complaints or unable to face routine chores that persist for a while, please talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and remember to take good care of yourself!

Memorial Service and The “Only Child”

January 13, 2009 at 8:00 am | Posted in Sophia Heftler, GCM | Leave a Comment
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Just the other day I went to a memorial service for a Client of Distinctive Care Geriatric Care Management who had passed away. She was the mother of an only child and when I saw her adult daughter grieving it really made me think about the challenges faced by an only child caring for an elderly loved-one. Most people think about the ramifications of being an only child when they are young, but for most only children it is as they age and their parents become frail and elderly that the impact of being an only child becomes an issue.

Often the strong bond that only children share with their parents may mean that they take on the whole caregiving burden alone, often even though there are others around who are willing to help. There is a tendency to think they must sort everything out by themselves and want to give their parents the same 100% attention and dedication that they received from their parents growing up.

This often puts a strain on the only child as well on their relationships with others. Often times the only child feels torn between their own families and their jobs causing them to feel as though they are abandoning their own families and also to consider quitting their jobs to become a full-time caregiver.

Only children usually develop a strong network of friends – but need to be able to call on them during difficult times. The important thing for only children to remember is that they must let other family members and friends know what their needs are and when they need help. It is vital that only children allow themselves a break from caregiving to take time to enjoy the things they like to do.

Information and professional support are essential, though many people don’t realize how much help is available to them. Professional Geriatric Care Management is a service that can help only children cope with the challenges they face in caring for their parents. The Care Manager can assume so many of the aspects of caregiving, that the only child can get back to their own families, concentrate on their careers and get back to being the adult child of their parents.

For additional information on how Geriatric Care Management might be able to help you and your situation please contact us in our Ridgewood, NJ office at 201-857-5283. We are happy to speak with you and provide you with the information you require to “get your life back”.

Life History Review: I’m Excited About it!

January 12, 2009 at 8:00 am | Posted in Sophia Heftler, GCM | 1 Comment
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One of the new products Distinctive Care Geriatric Care Management has introduced this year is geriatric counseling for both our Clients and their families. The thing that really excites me about this new offering is that we will be providing traditional counseling as well as Life History Review.

I just read an article in the January 7, 2009 edition of the Bergen Record. Tom Meuser, who directs gerontology graduate studies at the University of Missouri is quoted as saying, “Many elderly are helped by a life review. Such a review asks the questions, How do I feel about the life I have lived? Have I done the best that I can? Will I leave with a meaningful legacy? Do I have unfinished business? Am I despairing?”

While all the answers to these questions will not be positive, when reviewed in the presence of an experienced counselor the outcome of the review can be positive. The counselor can help people who are in despair become more able to come to terms with their faults and grant themselves forgiveness. Meuser says, “Some people will die in despair because someone never asked them their story – in effect to review their lives.”

So it’s very exciting to me that Distinctive Care Geriatric Care Management is on the cutting edge of this counseling technique and have brought our counselor, Barbara on board. Most recently Barbara has attended a course on Ethical Wills presented by The Valley Hospital of Ridgewood, NJ to learn more about the techniques used in life history review and to review the importance of this often neglected way for older adults to help get their affairs in order.

In addition to helping the Client, Barbara’s documentation of the Life History Review makes an invaluable gift of themselves for their family members by providing them with a historic legacy.

If you are interested in finding out more about Life History Reveiw, please contact Barbara at Distinctive Care 201-857-5283 to explore the possibilities available to you and your loved one.

Good News for Caregivers!

December 30, 2008 at 4:12 pm | Posted in Sophia Heftler, GCM | 3 Comments
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We have all heard so much about caregiver stress and the challenges that caregivers face. Caregiver stress includes both the emotional and physical strains of caregiving.

Some symptoms of caregiver stress are:

  • Frustration
  • Anger
  • Guilt
  • Loneliness
  • Exhaustion

Women account for almost 75% of caregivers that report feeling very strained emotionally, physically and financially.

Caregiving can also have it’s rewards, making the caregiver feel needed, promoting a stronger relationship with the person receiving care, providing the caregiver with the feeling of “giving back” to a loved one. Many caregivers report that they appreciate life more as a result of their experience and that caregiving has made them feel good about themselves.

I just recently read about a new study that caring for a loved one for 14 hours per week or more actually decreased their risk of death…this is the first time I have ever read anything like this and would like to share the report I read with you. You can access the full story at washingtonpost.com.

This is very important information for the care managers at Distinctive Care Geriatric Care Management and may change some of the interventions we develop for our Clients and their families in our care plans. Working together with the caregivers we can help them to find a happy medium where their caregiving responsibilities can provide positive responses while reducing the stresses involved for the caregiver.

If you are experiencing overwhelming stress in your caregiving responsibilities please don’t hesitate to contact Distinctive Care Geriatric Care Management, located in Ridgewood, New Jersey and serving Bergen, Passaic, and surrounding counties in New Jersey and Rockland, Orange and Westchester and surrounding counties in New York. We can be reached at 201-857-5283 or www.distinctivecare.net.

Getting Through the Holidays

December 16, 2008 at 8:09 pm | Posted in Sophia Heftler, GCM | Leave a Comment
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Caregiving is stressful under the best of circumstances; add the stress that comes along with the holidays and what often results is caregiver burnout. There are some things you can do to make the holidays more enjoyable for all.

One very important thing you should do is to prepare family members for changes your loved one has experienced since the last family gathering. You can do this by phone, email or letter, but be sure to use plain terms to describe how your loved one has changed both physically as well as behaviorally so that your visitors know what to expect once they arrive.

Another important thing to take care of when you are preparing your family members for the visit is to let them know that you will not participate in discussions or debates on how your loved one should be cared for. Often visitors will feel they are helping by offering advice and suggestions which may feel like criticism. It’s best to let everyone know in advance that if they would like to discuss your loved ones care that you will contact them after the holidays to hear their suggestions, advice and ideas.

Remember that it’s okay to ask for help, whether it’s help in preparing dinner or assistance putting up the tree. People really want to help, so don’t be afraid to ask. Perhaps this is the year that you start a new holiday tradition and have someone else host the holiday gathering. It’s important not to push yourself too hard and to find ways to enjoy the holiday without overdoing it.

Often people don’t understand what it is like to be a caregiver and may seem unsympathetic toward your situation. It’s times like this that you should reach out to others in similar situations by attending support groups geared toward caregivers who are in similar situations whether it be an Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s Disease, Stroke or any other type of support group. At this time it is helpful to be with others who understand what you and your loved one are experiencing and who can provide support.

Most importantly remember to take care of yourself even if it means writing them down in your calendar. Be sure to get enough sleep, to exercise and to eat nutritional meals. Caring for both your body and your emotions will help you to be prepared to handle the stress that often accompanies family gatherings.

As I mentioned earlier, support groups are very helpful to people who are involved in caregiving of a loved one. I am so happy to announce that beginning in February 2009 Distinctive Care Geriatric Care Management of Ridgewood, NJ will be running a support group in Ramsey, NJ on the first Monday of each month at 6pm at the Presbyterian church. As we get closer to the date I will be providing you with additional information and details. It’s exciting to put the skills we learned during our training with the Alzheimer’s Association to work to help caregivers throughout Bergen County, New Jersey.

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