The Professional Geriatric Care Manager’s Blog

Caregiving is stressful under the best of circumstances; add the stress that comes along with the holidays and what often results is caregiver burnout. There are some things you can do to make the holidays more enjoyable for all.

One very important thing you should do is to prepare family members for changes your loved one has experienced since the last family gathering. You can do this by phone, email or letter, but be sure to use plain terms to describe how your loved one has changed both physically as well as behaviorally so that your visitors know what to expect once they arrive.

Another important thing to take care of when you are preparing your family members for the visit is to let them know that you will not participate in discussions or debates on how your loved one should be cared for. Often visitors will feel they are helping by offering advice and suggestions which may feel like criticism. It’s best to let everyone know in advance that if they would like to discuss your loved ones care that you will contact them after the holidays to hear their suggestions, advice and ideas.

Remember that it’s okay to ask for help, whether it’s help in preparing dinner or assistance putting up the tree. People really want to help, so don’t be afraid to ask. Perhaps this is the year that you start a new holiday tradition and have someone else host the holiday gathering. It’s important not to push yourself too hard and to find ways to enjoy the holiday without overdoing it.

Often people don’t understand what it is like to be a caregiver and may seem unsympathetic toward your situation. It’s times like this that you should reach out to others in similar situations by attending support groups geared toward caregivers who are in similar situations whether it be an Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s Disease, Stroke or any other type of support group. At this time it is helpful to be with others who understand what you and your loved one are experiencing and who can provide support.

Most importantly remember to take care of yourself even if it means writing them down in your calendar. Be sure to get enough sleep, to exercise and to eat nutritional meals. Caring for both your body and your emotions will help you to be prepared to handle the stress that often accompanies family gatherings.

As I mentioned earlier, support groups are very helpful to people who are involved in caregiving of a loved one. I am so happy to announce that beginning in February 2009 Distinctive Care Geriatric Care Management of Ridgewood, NJ will be running a support group in Ramsey, NJ on the first Monday of each month at 6pm at the Presbyterian church. As we get closer to the date I will be providing you with additional information and details. It’s exciting to put the skills we learned during our training with the Alzheimer’s Association to work to help caregivers throughout Bergen County, New Jersey.